Ups..... Downs

Ups and downs,

Up picking up Justin from school and watching him be happy to see me,

Eating lunch with my boys,

Downs, watching my ex-husband laugh with my neighbors about how i was fired from our marriage.

Having the wind take my stroller with my baby in it and whipping it away. Thank god for the stranger that happened to be there to grab it. Made me realize I am not a good single mom. Not yet.

Someday I might be able to stop crying myself to sleep at night. Because I apparently sucked at being a wife, forced my husband to leave me because I can't clean a house right. And ultimately ruined my kids family.

And I am really hoping angel comes out soon so I can shut feelings out of my life. I want to become a cold bitch that can't get hurt. Just Saying

I would love to convince myself that all I need is my boys... I tell myself... Don't believe it yet.