My life

Ok so I went off on the ex-husbands new girlfriend, now I am gonna say some stuff on more important stuff.

My world, the one I am learning all about, as I said before, just like Jason I am in a completely new game.

I am not 24 anymore, I am a mom of two amazing boys.
Conner: who is the spitting image of me. (I'm sure that's gonna be a problem later). He has type one diabetes, he is sweet, he cleans everything, (that's not like me) he loves his brother, his daddy, and of course his momma. Most people know how hard it was to get him here safely, I have a whole blog on it as a matter of fact. Lol so it surprises me very little that he is so attached to me. And we have a very special close relationship.

Justin: he is the spitting image of Jason. And if I'm lucky he will have his disposition also. Because his daddy is awesome. He also is a sweet, loving, kind hearted boy, he loves his daddy, brother, and sometimes his momma. Lol just kidding he loves me all the time. But he favors his daddy. He has some speech delays but is becoming quite the little talker. I am pretty much proud of him all the time. He is a very smart kid. And it's like all this time he was just taking everything in. He comes up with new awesome and at times hilarious stuff everyday.

Jason: the ex husband:
He is amazing, I couldn't have picked a better man to have children with. He is kind and loving and an amazing father. When we split, I never at anytime wondered if he was actually gonna do his 50%. Or pay his child support. I knew he would. I also knew that he wasn't ever gonna let us drowned. Now we have been split for almost a year now.
May 6 th 2012 he asked for a divorce. And for a month I asked if that was really what he wanted. His mind never changed. So we got divorced quietly July 28th 2012.

Sense then life hasn't been easy, I have learned things, most things all over again. Lessons I learned once but forgot. Kinda like high school algebra (cuz they lied when they said you would use that) unless your a math major or an accountant, or a math professor. One was you can't just date anyone. People lie, people will try to take the best of you.

For instants, yep I'm gonna call um out. (Did you expect anything less)

Erin,
Oh lord, Erin, he is the classic first try at dating, well second... But Ted really isn't worth mentioning. But that one has really funny/sick story's in it so... You might hear about it later. But back to Erin, he lived, still lives next door. He helped me into the job at the fair. Let me cry on his shoulder, over Ted, (which FYI not worth the tears.)
He gave amazing back rubs and was good in bed. All the right stuff right? Um no. Because he was good in bed to everyone, like seriously. Everyone. In our relationship he made sure that he slept with his ex, while texting me "he's not that kinda guy" but what did I expect? Him to say.. Yep I am cheating on you. How did you guess.. Of which in would have answered well you left to do laundry, and it doesn't take a whole weekend. Other then that He was pretty much was awesome, he didn't work so he had Infinite time to spend with me. I enjoyed that. Feeling loved was awesome. He made the best pancakes. He drove when I didn't want too, it was pretty awesome. But I am worth more then what he was doing behind his closed doors.

Travis:
He was so good at the spending money on me.... But he was gone all the time. Never around means little time to truly get attached. I really tried to fall in love. But it was not happening. Now he helped me with my bills and spend LOTS of money on me. So I just stayed with him. Not nice... Cuz he was attached. He was also a complete control freak. He would call and I would be out and about doctors offices, or Walmart, job hunting and so forth. And he would always ask what time I left. Or where were you? I got really sick of it. Anytime he drank he wasn't nice. He would make statements that he wanted me to spend the night. And that's not something I wanted to do. Once it led to me walking home in minus degree temps and him not allowing me to call a cab. Yep it led to frostbite on my feet. Awesome for my diabetic feet. And when he got home on his R&R he pushed me to put out. Which really made me not wanna. So.... I finally said its over about the time that he yelled at me in front of my kids. Demanding all sorts of ridiculous orders. So we left, it was Christmas for Christ sake. And all the kids toys were left there, and he wouldn't bring them back. So I said I was done. And he went to work and I packed my shit and was gone.

Ted:
He was before Erin, he was nice and we dated a while before sleeping together. But once we did. He told me that we weren't compatible. Needless to say this confused me. A lot. But then I found out he was in to some major kink. Like peeing on me, taking me by force with a mask on, tying me up, holding a loaded weapon to my head while getting blown... So that was that. Who needs that shit. In don't want someone to explain to my mom why my brains are all over the wall and why there seems to be semen In my mouth. Not to mention he borrowed money that I didn't have And had no intent to pay it back.

Now I am dating Jake, which for lack of a better word is amazing. He is kind and loving. He waited to sleep with me too, which made me feel special. Like I was worth doing this relationship slow to make sure it was something we both wanted. Sense then life has been awesome. He isn't financially taking care of me. Just emotionally. He listens when I talk, and is respectful and kind. The kids like him. And he Always finds his way home at night even if he does things for himself during the day. He is always saying that he doesn't want me to hide all my crazy. He wants to get to know me. The me I am when no ones around.

Other things I have learned are that...

The people that love you, will always love you. If they suddenly don't, they never really did. The kind of love can change. But love doesn't.

The first year is the hardest, this is true for marriage.. As well and after a divorce.

Time spent one on one is healthy, but remember to do it with yourself. Because you are who you can always count on. People will come and go. But you will always be there... Unless your insane then well... I don't know what to tell you.

Sometimes your sad. This is to be expected, your starting over again. Which means something in your life you started.... Ended. That's sad. Cry if you need. But don't cry constantly. Eventually you have to move on. And the sooner the better. This whole you need to spend a "year single for every year married" is complete bullshit. Sorry gramma but it is. Don't just jump into bed with everyone. But go out there. See how it feels, cuz the sooner you move on the sooner you heal. Or something. I'm not sure I have all that right. But then again I am wrong alot.

Which brings me to my next point.

You can be wrong, you can even admit it. Mistakes happen. It's how you know your trying. Without being wrong we would never learn anything.

Don't sell yourself short. EVER you don't know what your capable of until BAM holy crap I rock at that!! And you find that out by trying

Pray. It goes along way. Weather you believe in God or just believe in yourself, you Subconsciously giving yourself strength. I personally think God has a huge hand in life. And just like your best friend you like to hear from them. So does God. Just Saying

Ok so not super funny this time around but I think humor all the time takes away from the real ness of certain topics.
The end