Dear lord,

I just don't know what I am feeling....

Let's start with the bad decisions I make.... Well lots of them.

I have had happiness and sadness and joy.

I have done things I never thought I could. I have struggled with small things and taken out things that are bigger then anything I have ever seen.

I am strong... Yet weak. I have talents and other shit that I don't know how to do.

I have people in my life that wanna see me fail. Something I don't like doing is failing. But yet some how I end up falling short of the bar.

It's no secret that men are not something I make good decisions with. I jump in way to fast.... And end up hurting more then I should have to.

Right now i feel like the world is punching me in the face, knocking me down to the ground and I'm jumping up yelling bring it on!!

Just to be knocked down again.

I want to be loved. I want peace. I want arms wrapped around me and to be told that it is going to be alright.

I wanna live inside a country song where the girl is loved and wanted. Where the man won't ever let here go. Where he will fight for her. Because losing her would shatter his soul.

Do men out there exists?

Do they?