Ahhh

So how many times am I going wake up alone and realize its ok? So far only a few times. God know I wake up on my own, In a bed way to big for one person. And sometimes I reach for him, even though he has never spent the night here, un fact now that I think about it... I have woke up alone more in this last 2 months then have in my entire life. OMG!!

I haven't been in a single state for more then a few weeks, I have always been dependent on a man. Weird.

Now don't get me wrong, I am dating this man. He allows me to call him my boyfriend. Which I think is awesome! But I don't depend on him. Hell he doesn't really ever call me. And I am unclear as to whether he thinks of me at all though out his day. When we are together we live in a magic world. It's a great world. There are explosions in our kisses. But honestly we have only had a few moments.

We had dinner, he spent the night. Woke up went to work.

Then there was the night I snuck into his bedroom and pulled up his covers up to my chin. And I got to wake up in his arms.

Then there was a moment where we met on the corner. He was on his 4 wheeler. And I flung my leg over the handle bars and sat on his lap. And kissed him. It was a kiss that I swear threw the earth off it axes.

Then the other time he met me on the same corner and I jumped on him and he held me in a kiss so long so wet so passionate that it would have gotten a Harlequin novel award. His hands on me. Every thing was awesome! As I walked away he said "see you later sweetie" and I melted. It felt like that was where I needed to be.

And the Thursday I drove to his house, and stood in his garage walking around like I hadn't entered. I stood there no knowing what I was to him, just a girl... Or a girlfriend, or some chick you woke up to that one time.

But then as I almost thought huh; this is awkward. Then he tugged on my shirt and slide me into his arms. From that point I knew I was where I was supposed to be. And I didn't ever want to leave.

I'm sorry I don't remember what the hell I was talking about. And I would like to relive that moment. When I told him I thought I lost him and he said to me... "You never lost me. You ticked me off, but never lost me" those words made me so happy I couldn't do anything but jump into his arms and hug him tell he told me to stop.


Ok goodnight that's what I am gonna think about as I drift off