I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow.
And I left my scarf there at your sister's house,
And you still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze.
We're singing in the car, getting lost Upstate.
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,
And I can picture it after all these days.

And I know it's long gone,
And that magic's not here no more,
And I might be okay,
But I'm not fine at all.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red.
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed
And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team
You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to...

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too well.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well



Let's break it down.... Shall we...

I bet you are tired from a long hard week, but I also bet she is there making it better.... Better then I ever could.

I also bet I'm alone, actually. Not just how I feel.... All the time. I also bet I wish I was in your arms. Safe and warm. Not wondering if we would work, but knowing that we vowed we would always be there for each other.
I also bet I have been drinking a lot. I bet that tomorrow is thanksgiving. I bet that I wish I was celebrating our thankfulness for our family, our love. No matter how off base. How confusing. I wish we had kept trying even when it got hard.

I wish she was me. That she wasn't what she wanted. That she wasn't better then me. That I had enough self esteem to know I was a better person. But as strong as I come off with my words... I am still the girl that is falling apart because I am the one alone while her boyfriend is off lying next to a girl that isn't me.

But I am me... The above girl... The one, alone, wishing she was someone else, wishing she was not the one with the boyfriend that was with someone else.

Now let face it tomorrow I'll be back with him. Mostly because I don't want to be alone.... Knowing your not.

I for some reason entertain the possibility that maybe some how someway you wish we could be us again.

But we can't because you would rather be with someone who would rather tear her ex apart, he's a good dad... Just exactly like you. Unlike you she puts herself first, worried about how she feels, how she looks. She doesn't think of how things are for her kids. Well I guess I wrong. Ahe worry about how her kids deal, she fakes pregnancy. Cancer, god knows what else. To get you to propose. To promise a life that would allow the life that was mine. The life that I worked for. I am the one that helped, supported him from sergeant, to staff Sargent. I'm the one that was there. Holding his hand. Carrying his kids... You'll never have that. Never have his babies inside you. I may have been on vacation in his mind... But I was still on my back missing my life. Missing my baby growing... Getting older. Learning new things. He knows what I missed. Wether he wants to or not he knows what I missed. He sent the pictures of the things that I wished I had been there for.

You maybe there now. But am the one that got you where you are. I am the one that held his hand. Loved his soul. Still does. Forever...

I will love him forever. I will forever know that he hates your heels. He hates singing at the bar. Because he hates the bar, he hates all the cocks you have sucked. He hates being reminded of all the me before him.

You will never under stand. Because you used to be someone he used to make fun of.

You used to be the girl we used to say "nice" as in you were disgusting. As in never ever be attractive.ever. Never.

Yeah I am only second bottle of wine. I am three calls too many into this thought. I want someone to want me. Anyone. Anyone. At all.