Where now?

I am going insane with stress, I feel like my world is falling around my feet. And with every piece I feel just a little bit more alone. The thing is I have people around me. Not tons but some.
Jake is sweet as can be. He hears me when I cry, although I don't do that so much.
But my weakness is showing more and more. People say, "take it one day at a time" well..., I am. But the week has been very trying and seems to be here all on the same day.

Count your blessing is also a common response. Well ok I'll bite.
1. My Children
2. The men in my life are amazing,
A. Jake he is a silent support, he doesn't have the answer and he knows that what I need is a shoulder
B. Jason is an amazing father, he takes his time with kids and never has he tried to get out of it. He is a supportive ex. As in he doesn't talk to me about my personal life. But he picks up the kids and isn't rude or mean.
3. I have great friends, not a lot but the ones I do have are great.
4. My van is running (even if I can't afford to put gas in it)
5. I like looking at Nikkii and she is mine to look at her.
6. The rent is paid this month
7. I am in a country that allows me to go to any church I want.


Yep my bank account is still as empty as it was.
But hey 8. Insert blessing here. At least it's not negative.

Conner and Justin's birthday isn't gonna be memorable because of me. My thirty dollar saving for your present got used on the electric bill. So hopefully daddy has got something awesome and know that my love for you is way bigger then you can even comprehend.

Well there you go. And....
I'm taking it one day at a time, and I count my blessings, but blessings are a past thing... You already have it.
I need to get to the next step and be a little closer to a solution the I was yesterday. I don't need handouts I need opportunity.

I am just overwhelmed, really overwhelmed. But.... ohhhh here's another blessing. 9. I am better off then 46% of the country and yeah I made up the percentage. I have no idea what the Statistic is.

Heaven help me get though this.