This is hard

Ok this is hard, bare with me.

So you know everyone face books, and there are always a million shares that touch your heart, whether it be because its something your Avid about or and experience and its painful, or something you feel and never say. Or sparks a reminder of thing that you don't think about anymore.

Well tonight I got that, and as I watched this particular video a memory came back, the tears started to fall, and I was like CRAP now I'm gonna be up all night. And I'm gonna look like I'm thinking about the past. Which I guess I am. And it's over and done. I won't get or want that back. Blah blah blah. Read what you want into it It needs to be told.

So..... Jason A. Giese had been gone what seemed like forever. He was greatly missed. On the day of the night he returned. I spent time with a close friend at the movies. Enchanted, why I remember that I don't know, when it was over at about 2pm I went home. And sat down on our bed, in the home he had never lived in. I had my dressed picked out, it was black with blue trim a ribbon around the waist and that itchy shit under it that made the skirt stand out just a little. It took forever to get ready. My hair wasn't right, my world was a mess. I was shaking as I put on my makeup. I didn't know what to expect. What he would look like. Would he even be happy to see me, (the deployment hadn't gone well, and I was one of the army wives that should be killed) but I missed him.... Wanted him to hug me like in the movies, would they get off a bus, would they look tired. Would I die standing there on foot on the other waiting Chewing my nails with nerves? Yep i sure was. Got the truck all washed up, (I know he missed it like crazy) and I would deserve to have him miss it more then he did me. I sucked it up told myself I wouldn't cry. And would keep it together. So get to the gym. Out of the truck, zillion of people there. Go in. The Bleachers were out, yet a lot of wives, children, and strollers on the ground. They played songs and all that crap. Marched them in all in formation. And then the "big guy" talked I don't remember his rank, but he was LONGWINDED. He went on and on about how happy they were to be home. How they shouldn't drive, remember safety was the number one goal. I'm not sure he quite understood how all these people felt. Just shut up so we can be held by the men we missed so much, that were so close but so far away. Just shut up! (Respectful sir) finally that we're released to join their loved ones and the Chaos was overwhelming. How was I ever gonna find him! They are all in the same uniform, he's not gonna find me. Omg I'm gonna be to dressed up to even be Recognizable. Then I stood on the bottom bleacher, and there he was. Walking toward me, smile on his face, arms out. And it wasn't long before they were wrapped up in them. Together finally. We walked hand in hand to the truck. And drive home. With a stop before getting on the highway.

It was a happy moment in our... Well at least my life. I'll never forget it. Although it is Probably not something he remembers with such clarity. We have never spoke of the memory of that day.

And although its nice to reminisce. And I'll I want to do right now is to call my ex best friend and say remember when. But it wouldn't be appropriate, he isn't mine anymore and these memory's should remain alone in my head, or out of it, so others can form.

And now I need to dry these tears
Probably forget to post this blog, and go to bed like I did an hour ago. But got up for lack of the ability to sleep.

Is that because I needed to see the video that I have ignored so many times before? Is it because I needed to write this as sort of Closure on that part of my life? Or was it my Addiction to my phone that got me up and back in the living room.
Well even though it is Probably the last one. I'm going to go with the one before it. And go with closure.